Wedding Crashers

What is it about weddings?
Is it the distractions of the flower girl that is bored with life as she is told to sit still for an eternity, yet decides it is in her best interest to run amuk?
Perhaps it is the distant possibilty of watching one of the groomsman break the "don't lock your knees" rule and loose all grips on conscienousness?
Part of my deep, sick sense of humor wants to know if the groomsman are going to pull a prank during the ceremony at the climactic line "Do you have the rings?".
What crass graffiti did they write on the vehicle that the bride and groom will drive away in to begin their lives together?
"Ball and chain!"
"Dome on the rainbow!"
"Honk if you're horny!"
Sometimes I feel like we go to watch a train wreck. Not in the sense that the union will be a rocky relationship and destined to fail, but the wedding ceremony itself?
We went to a wedding of some very dear friends of ours over the weekend, the flower girl was relatively well behaved, especially after the tranquilizer shot. No pranks were pulled, the reception was nice.
The "getaway car" for the bride and groom pulled around to the front as they were ready to leave. I was glad/disappointed to see it was tastefully decorated.
As the bride (still in her dress) and the groom (still in his tuxedo) walked through the shower of rose pedals, he lead her to the passenger door that happened to still be locked. They asked the driver to unlock the door. As he exited the vehicle, he pushed the button and left the car. They tried the handle again only to find it was still locked...
The driver shut the door...locked.
There was this awesome moment that everyone realized that the locked button was accidentally pushed. The keys still in the ignition.
[Insert train wreck here]
The bride and groom began their lives together standing next to a car with the keys locked inside. Luckily, they are awesome people that love a great story. A few of us amateurs ran for a coat-hanger to get the car unlocked.
"Oh, I got this. I saw it in a movie once..."
And there we stood.
Finally, after we proved we couldn't break into an IHOP, my wife had the great idea to let them take our car and we would meet up with them and swap cars later.
So they drove off in our vehicle (kinda wierd) and when we did finally get the keys out, Kyla and I drove off in the "Just Married" car (very wierd); streamers, shaving cream and all.
We caught up with them about 20 miles down the road and swapped cars.

So I now remember why we go to weddings...
They're cheaper than a movie and there's free food!

M@