Gone in 35....days.

Kyla and I have an announcement to make.
We have a new member to the family.
No, we didn't get another dog.
Well, it is not a NEW member, just one returning home.
His name is Antonio.

No thanks to our insurance representative, I hopped on a plane and headed to San Antonio to pick up our once stolen vehicle. I called our insurance guy around 3 on Friday afternoon to setup a plane reservation and found that he had taken an early weekend. He didn't leave his cell number, so I can't call him when he is away from the office; which is good because I would hate to inconvenience him with all of this!
This is a story of Jerry Seinfeld, I'm telling your right now. My first mistake was booking a flight that left shortly after church. And when church went a little long, I was already pushing it. Next time, remind me to not put God on a stopwatch. If people started accepting Christ and putting him on in baptism, I would have missed my flight, and we can't have that! We ran home to change clothes, grab my iPod for the LONG drive home, iPod charger and tape-adapter, GPS, and my book.
(T-minus 15 minutes to liftoff.)
Buying a one way ticket, when you are 25 years-old, will get you a special mark on the bottom of your boarding pass. This is bad. When I walked through the ninth metal-detector, the renta-cop asked me to move into a seperate line and await further assitance.
(T-minus 10 minutes to liftoff.)
They then moved me into a line that was covered in a plastic tarp and roped off with red-tape. I looked around to find a clock (my watch was in the little bowl for wedding rings, brass knuckles, etc.) and through all of the plastic, red flashing lights and useless white smoke, I could see several astronaughts moving the body of E.T.
(T-minus 5 minutes to liftoff.)
A very nice man came to interogate me. After the initial introductions had been made, he began to describe (in detail, God bless him) how they were going to search my bags, why they were doing so, and how global warming is affecting the population of the white rhino in Africa.
(5)
After several minutes of speculation, I convinced the older woman that what she was holding in her hand was actually called an "cell phone", not a detonation device.
(4)
"Thank you for your patience, Mr. McBryde. You are free to go."
"You owe me dinner!"
(3)
The man at the exit of the security area looks like he would rather be watching reruns of Charles In Charge, than manning the last lookout for terrorists.
"Where are you headed?"
"San Antonio."
"When does your plane leave?"
"NOW!"
"You had better hurry."
"You know what, you are probably right. I hadn't thought about it."
(2)
Finally made to it the gate just as they were closing the doors. Any longer and I would have pulled a Lloyd Christmas.
(1)
Found a seat on a row all to myself! Openned up my bag to grab my book and my .... DOH! .... my iPod was still in the car with Kyla! NNNNOOOOO!!!!!
Liftoff!
Needless to say the truck is in great shape. There is a small hole under the passenger door handle (see Exhibit B),
but the interior is cleaner than I left it. The thieves left a mix CD that was so scratched my CD player rejected it. There was also a Janis Joplin cassette tape in the tape deck. I was assured by the mechanic that there was nothing of his in the truck, which was odd when I found a receipt with some guy's name on it in the glove box. The receipt was from another shop in Dallas. The vehicle description matches my truck .... no way.... there is just no way .... this is too good .... did the guy that just stole my truck, leave his name on a receipt, in my truck!? Later in the drive, I was looking in my overhead cubby hole and found a pack of Big-Red bubble gum. The package has been openned and two sticks are missing. I don't like Big-Red, actually, I can't stand it. But I set aside my own personal preferences and I stole a stick of gum from the guy that stole my truck. The cinnamon flavor pales in comparison to the sweet taste of vengance! Apparently Big-Red has street credit!

M@